Do not start here. Man asks directions to a certain place. Native attempts to give directions, then in disgust says, "If I wanted to go to –, I wouldn't start from here."

Motif

Do not start here. Man asks directions to a certain place. Native attempts to give directions, then in disgust says, "If I wanted to go to –, I wouldn't start from here."

The wise and the foolish. · Cleverness. · Clever practical retorts. · Practical retorts – miscellaneous. · view the constellation · filed as J1648

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U.S. Baughman.

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Filed under Practical retorts – miscellaneous.

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How much the ass cost. As the fool brings the new ass home everyone wants to know how much it cost. He has all publicly assemble and announces just what it cost Throw at a rich man. Philosopher gives a penny to a man who throws stones at him but advises him that it will be wiser to throw at one who can afford to give more. The advice is followed and the rascal is arrested and hanged Eyes treated for the stomach ache. A man who has stomach ache from eating bad bread is treated for his eyes so that he will thereafter be able to tell good bread from bad. [Inadvertant duplication of X372.3.] The fish in the sleeve. A particularly obnoxious man delays others while he haggles over prices with a butcher. Meanwhile a parson takes the three fish the man has laid down and puts them into his large sleeves. The man is angry and searches in vain for them. The parson then shows them and advises him not to let people cheat him One wrong and five hundred good deeds. A man steals a large sum, keeps half and distributes the rest among five hundred persons. He says that he has committed one wrong but has done five hundred good deeds Two monks renew their appetites. Entertained by a lord, they say that they are going to certain waters to recover their appetites. They are taken to a chamber and locked in for a day They recover their appetites without further journeying. (Cf. K1955.1.1.) The testament of the dog. The owner of a dog has him given Christian burial. The bishop thereupon pretends that the dog has left the church a large legacy Ass's charter in his hoof. The ass absents himself from the parliament of beasts. The lion sends the fox and the wolf to summon him. He pleads his charter of exemption and invites the fox to read it in his hoof. (Cf. K551.18.) The stolen meat and the weighed cat. A man buys three pounds of meat. His wife eats it and says that the cat ate it. The man weighs the cat and finds that it does not weigh three pounds The lazy ass repaid in kind. Loaded with salt, he falls down in the river and lightens his burden. His master then loads him with sponges so that the next time the ass tries the trick he increases his load The rescuers' Sabbath. A Jew, fallen into a pit, refuses to be rescued on Saturday, his Sabbath. The next day he calls for help but the Christians refuse to rescue him on Sunday, their Sabbath The forehanded servant. A parson boasts that when he asks his maid if certain work is done she always answers that it has been done long ago. A guest wagers that she can be trapped if she is asked whether she has thrown the parson's suit of clothes into the tub of water. She overhears the wager and has the suit in the water before he asks the question That which was promised him. A tenant promises his daughter to his master against her will. The master sends for "that which was promised him." The daughter sends the horse, and it is taken into the master's chamber St. Peter not guiltless. Soldiers are admitted neither to hell nor to heaven. They remind Peter of his denial of Christ. He admits them God's omniscience. A woman tells her brother of God's omniscience. When he is ill and the priest has been called, he creeps under some straw and hides. The priest leaves. The man: "If God were so omniscient he might have found me for the priest." The one word petition. A guardian of monks in need of food approaches the prince The prince is busy and says that he will permit the guardian but a single word. The guardian says, "Soup", and secures all the food he wants from the prince

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